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I dislike getting greetings like "are you busy?" or "hi", or "are you there?" or in one recent case "x". I try not to leave such messages myself.
Why?
Well, there are a couple of problems with "hi", and to a lesser extent, other greetings which don't say what you want to talk about, like "can I ask a question?" (which at least says that there's a question) or "are you busy?" (which at least suggests that the discussion may be time consuming).
The first problem is, if they are afk and come back, then they will likely just reply "hi" back. But you might be afk too, by then. And IMs are meant to get rid of that kind of silly game of message pong.
The bigger problem is that if they are not afk, but are "screening their calls", the recipient has to make a decision: do they reply, making it obvious they're not afk, and possibly getting involved in a conversation they would've avoided if they'd known the topic, or how long it was going to take; or do they not reply, and possibly miss out on a cool conversation?
I made this mistake in real life once: my first day at university, I wanted some directions to somewhere, so I tried a guy in the street. "Excuse me, sir?" I asked. He looked at me distrustfully and walked on. "Sir? Excuse me!" He frowned and walked faster. I was getting cross at his lack of response, and tried one last time: "EXCUSE ME!"
He shot me a look so black I could've polished my shoes with it, and I left him alone, but it was only a little further down the street that I realised it wasn't him being a jerk, it was me. I was doing it wrong, and his response was right and natural.
So the next guy, I was ready. "Excuse me, do you know where I could find the bank?" (or whatever it was I was looking for). This guy, knowing that I wasn't trying to make him join some cult or beg for money, was all too happy to show off his local knowledge by directing me :)
So, same with IMs. If you IM someone with "hi" or "hey, are you about?", and the only report you get is from their auto-away, then you have only yourself to blame. You gave them no reason to reply to you.
Don't be afraid to say up front what you're after.
"Hi, you free to chat? I just saw that new movie you were talking about and you're right, I'm sooo pissed!"
"I'm having a problem with the phase arrays, can you help? Every time I realign them, they summon a Vogon construction fleet, and that's not even the right continuity!"
"Hi! Isn't BillyJoe just dreamy-awesome?"
If you think that they might not respond if they know what you're after, unless you have managed to trap them into conversation first, then you should probably ask yourself why you are talking to them about it anyway. If you need the conversation, then I'd personally be even weasellier and ask them about something unrelated to get them to respond first: otherwise they may well assume that you are about to talk to them about the worst possible thing, and not respond.
If you think they might not respond because what you want to talk about is to unimportant... well, just think about that for a second :) Is it important enough to try to trick them into an unimportant conversation?
People LIKE chatting, and LIKE helping other people. Give them a reason to, and make it easy for them.
The polite greetings and roundabout conversation of yesteryear are an impolite obstruction today:
Compare that to:
By giving a good question in the beginning, you saved yourself a DAY. Sure, you didn't find out that he served up his own wife at a BBQ over the weekend, but you didn't really want to know that anyway, right?
Why?
Well, there are a couple of problems with "hi", and to a lesser extent, other greetings which don't say what you want to talk about, like "can I ask a question?" (which at least says that there's a question) or "are you busy?" (which at least suggests that the discussion may be time consuming).
The first problem is, if they are afk and come back, then they will likely just reply "hi" back. But you might be afk too, by then. And IMs are meant to get rid of that kind of silly game of message pong.
The bigger problem is that if they are not afk, but are "screening their calls", the recipient has to make a decision: do they reply, making it obvious they're not afk, and possibly getting involved in a conversation they would've avoided if they'd known the topic, or how long it was going to take; or do they not reply, and possibly miss out on a cool conversation?
I made this mistake in real life once: my first day at university, I wanted some directions to somewhere, so I tried a guy in the street. "Excuse me, sir?" I asked. He looked at me distrustfully and walked on. "Sir? Excuse me!" He frowned and walked faster. I was getting cross at his lack of response, and tried one last time: "EXCUSE ME!"
He shot me a look so black I could've polished my shoes with it, and I left him alone, but it was only a little further down the street that I realised it wasn't him being a jerk, it was me. I was doing it wrong, and his response was right and natural.
So the next guy, I was ready. "Excuse me, do you know where I could find the bank?" (or whatever it was I was looking for). This guy, knowing that I wasn't trying to make him join some cult or beg for money, was all too happy to show off his local knowledge by directing me :)
So, same with IMs. If you IM someone with "hi" or "hey, are you about?", and the only report you get is from their auto-away, then you have only yourself to blame. You gave them no reason to reply to you.
Don't be afraid to say up front what you're after.
"Hi, you free to chat? I just saw that new movie you were talking about and you're right, I'm sooo pissed!"
"I'm having a problem with the phase arrays, can you help? Every time I realign them, they summon a Vogon construction fleet, and that's not even the right continuity!"
"Hi! Isn't BillyJoe just dreamy-awesome?"
If you think that they might not respond if they know what you're after, unless you have managed to trap them into conversation first, then you should probably ask yourself why you are talking to them about it anyway. If you need the conversation, then I'd personally be even weasellier and ask them about something unrelated to get them to respond first: otherwise they may well assume that you are about to talk to them about the worst possible thing, and not respond.
If you think they might not respond because what you want to talk about is to unimportant... well, just think about that for a second :) Is it important enough to try to trick them into an unimportant conversation?
People LIKE chatting, and LIKE helping other people. Give them a reason to, and make it easy for them.
The polite greetings and roundabout conversation of yesteryear are an impolite obstruction today:
A (10:00 Fri): Hi, you about? B (18:15 Fri): Hi, sorry, just got in. [He's lying, he checked his IMs lunchtime, but skipped this one because he reckoned it'd be a long conversation] A (19:00 Fri): Yay, you're back! 'Sup, dude? B (19:01 Fri): Nobbad. Just killed my wife, stuffed her in the freezer, got food for months now. A (19:02 Fri): Awesome. Hey, I had an urgent question. B (19:03 Fri): OK, but make it quick, I need to pop out and get me a barbecue set before the store closes. A (19:04 Fri): You know anything about FLEA technology? B (19:05 Fri): I've used it a bit, but I'm not pro level. Why, what's the issue? A (19:06 Fri): You know where I can find the setting to turn off acronym expansion? B (19:07 Fri): Yeah, I did that once, forget how. Seem to remember it's a bit fiddly, tell you what, I'll have a rummage and tell you when I get back from the store. A (19:08 Fri): OK B (13:00 Mon): Sorry dude, ran into some friends at the store, invited them round to test out the new BBQ, we brought a few beers, and ended up having an awesome weekend, I forgot all about this. Anyway, it's easier than I thought, all you do is...
Compare that to:
A (10:01 Fri): Hi, you about? You know where I can find the setting to turn off acronym expansion in FLEA tech? B (13:07 Fri): Yeah, I did that once, forget how. Seem to remember it's a bit fiddly, but I'll have a quick rummage. B (13:08): Oh, it's easier than I thought, all you do is...
By giving a good question in the beginning, you saved yourself a DAY. Sure, you didn't find out that he served up his own wife at a BBQ over the weekend, but you didn't really want to know that anyway, right?